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足球世界的冰与火之歌,一周足球搞笑段子手

时间:2020-03-12 03:46来源:体育福利
同伴们大家好,款待来到这一期的“国外也会有段子手”!转眼已到7月尾旬,各大联赛纷繁开启了新的征程。率先开张的英国一流联赛比赛场合,奥胡斯、Chelsea、Manchester United等球队混

同伴们大家好,款待来到这一期的“国外也会有段子手”!转眼已到7月尾旬,各大联赛纷繁开启了新的征程。率先开张的英国一流联赛比赛场合,奥胡斯、Chelsea、Manchester United等球队混乱顺遂大捷,而卫冕亚军曼彻斯特城俱乐部则在与阿森纳足球俱乐部的强强对话中笑到了最终。而在Spain一流杯中,巴萨则翻盘克性格很顽强在千难万险或巨大压力面前不屈了塞Willy亚。好了,话十分少说,让大家快来看看歪果仁们的优秀调侃吧!

小同伙们我们好,迎接来到这一期的“国外也是有段子手”!上周的欧洲足球亚军联赛赛管精彩看点恒河沙数,曼彻斯特联客场不敌巴萨,Tottenham Hotspur Football Club克服曼彻斯特城,阿布贾轻取瓦伦西亚,尤文与阿贾克斯大约,阿森纳俱乐部则在欧联杯中击溃那不勒斯俱乐部。星期日联赛,奥胡斯征服切尔西持续领跑,曼彻斯特城俱乐部、曼彻斯特联纷繁狂胜,而巴萨、尤文等队则总是丢分。好了,话没有多少说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的手不释卷作弄吧!

下一周的邀约比赛场所良美观点举不胜举,意大利共和国最终无缘世界杯,周天的联赛也是确定。阿森纳足球俱乐部笑傲北伦敦德比,曼彻斯特城俱乐部、曼联俱乐部、哈特福德甚至Chelsea等球队也烦扰胜球。西甲联赛比赛场馆,巴萨继续高歌奋进,而万众瞩指标米兰德比则以平局收场。好了,话比超级少说,让大家快来看看歪果仁们的敏感作弄吧!

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苏牙强力鸟进球,巴萨3-0莱内加斯

Desderon(未知主队观球的观众卡塔尔:纯属没悟出,暴力鸟那赛季的西甲联赛进球数,已经和BBC的总额同样了…(Paulinhohas as many goals in the league this season as the entire BBC. Absolutely incredible.卡塔尔国

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MakLife(奥兰多城看球的观者State of Qatar:Paco的进度,大致比中华人民共和国的快递都要快呀!(Pacois even quicker than a Chinese delivery hahahahaha.卡塔尔国

足球世界的冰与火之歌,一周足球搞笑段子手。DeezNuts0(未知主队观球的观众卡塔尔国:暴力鸟有如三头饥饿的秃鹫同样:“嘿嘿,小编前些天可要杀死点什么了!”(Paulinholike a hungry vulture says 'to hell with that I'm gonna kill something卡塔尔(قطر‎

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注:Goat, 即great of all time, 历史最棒,本意为“绵羊”

Indulgence(未知主队观球的观众卡塔尔国:苏牙的进球只怕会迟到,但绝不会缺席。(Suarez’s goal may come late but it always come.卡塔尔(قطر‎

K503(赫罗纳俱乐部看球的粉丝卡塔尔:近来大家能够说,Suarez正是乌拉圭强力鸟了!(We can see Suarez is looking like the Uruguayan Paulinho now.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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斯特林B席进球,曼城2-0阿森纳

TheMuse1:就连进乌龙球的时机,Arsenal Football Club都没把握住哟!(Arsenal even missed opportunity of Own Goal.State of Qatar

kaj1981:Edson这一场给阿森纳俱乐部创立的得分良机,都比枪手全队还多了…(Ederson has created more for Arsenal than themselves.卡塔尔国

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johnnygrant:段子手们还未有反应过来新一赛季已经起来了呢!(Man the memes world wasn't ready for it has begun.State of Qatar

armchairgoon:本场比赛看得,就连喝白热水的笔者都醉了…(I am drinking water, but they can still drown for this.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Dhahajts:纯属没悟出,Sterling那混小子也学会内切射门了…(Hard to believe that son of a bitch could make a cut inside…State of Qatar

rosstheboss2000:请小心言辞!那但是Sterling宗族Jamaica降生拉西姆一世、不进球者、笑气商贩的天子、英格兰人,Will士人和苏格兰人的愉悦源泉、大英10号守护者、Guardiola恋人、索斯盖特亲孙子、单刀破裂者和霸王龙跑位者——Rahim-Sterling大帝!(Watch your mouth. His Grace is the King Raheem Jamaica born of the HouseSterling, the First of His Name, the Unscored, King of Laughing Gas Retailers, Meme of the Scots, the Welsh and the Ulsterman, Lord of the No.10 of the Realm, Lover of Guardiola, Son of Southgate, Breaker of 1V1 and Runner of T-雷克斯.卡塔尔(قطر‎

(龙妈听了想打人类别...卡塔尔

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Jayveesac:预计撑不到竞赛结束自个儿就得犯心脏病了!(I'm probably gonna have a heart attack before this game ends lol.卡塔尔国

freakedmind:那你这么日久天长是怎么活下来的…(How are you still alive after the past couple of years?卡塔尔(قطر‎

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GreatSpaniard:Sterling在苏格兰队咋就不能够踢成这么?(Why can't Sterlingdo this for England?卡塔尔

CattermoleBEAST:毕竟国家队又不能踢阿森纳足球俱乐部…(You can't play Arsenal internationally.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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:那树叶就有一点点令人非分之想了...

IvanFilipovic:近些日子我们能够说,曼彻斯特城正是Sterling和别的十三个球员组成的球队!(We can say that City is currently Sterling and 10 others lol.卡塔尔国

Barrier_Freeman:斯Tring持球内切的时候,Arsenal Football Club后卫都以举动Sven有礼地目送他过人射门,真是太有派头了!(I like the way the Arsenal defenders just showed him towards the middle of the goal and let him take a hit. Very polite of them.

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:能够说是较心寒了...

Niderfan:挑衅者可是Manchester City F.C.,而大家却让多个从法乙联赛签下何况未有丝毫英国顶尖联赛涉世的19岁小将头阵…温格下课!(Starting a French 19 year old, signed from Ligue 2, with no premier league experience, against Man City…Wenger out!.)

SureCase:实质上Zaka依旧有实力的,只要在她身边配叁个Harvey就行…(Honestly Xhaka was good, we only need Xavi next to him.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Mobilehavoc:“今后来看Ozil!”“曼彻斯特城球员断球…”("Here's Ozil!" "City with the ball…")

Varnagel_1:如上所述Ozil好像也从俱乐部里退役了…(It appears Özil has retired from club football as well.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Salah马内进球,卡利2-0Chelsea

sarcastr0naut:比赛里那样多光滑剂的广告,为什么我们照旧插不进来啊?(So many ads for lubricants, and yet we're still struggling with penetration.卡塔尔(قطر‎

ShunningResumed:足足把你们滑倒了吧…(Might cause a slip though.State of Qatar

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kaj1981:伊瓜因就好像在穿着阔腿裤跑步近似…(Higuain runs like he's wearing jeans.State of Qatar

GlumElderberry:本人那只截了肢水龟都比伊瓜因跑得快!(My amputated turtle would outpace Higuain, fucking hell.State of Qatar

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Viktorenox:萨拉赫相对是最不沾边的转瞬即逝!(Worst one season wonder ever.卡塔尔国

ArizonaBong:那正是你们说的炸弹,一发入魂炸进你们的球门啦!(There's your fucking bomb! Bombed it right into the top corner.)

(注:以前有一点点极端Chelsea球迷讽刺Salah为“炸弹袭击者”卡塔尔国

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ImZaffi:那四个种族歧视的Chelsea观球的观众其实对的,Egypt真的是有大杀器啊!(The racist Chelsea fans were right, the 阿拉伯Egypt共和国ian has rockets!)

Cillian_Brouder:凯帕:“教练,小编想被换下场…”(Kepa 阿里萨巴拉加: "毛Richie奥, I'd like to be taken off now."State of Qatar

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Raptorized:澳门新京葡网上娱乐,萨拉赫在告知Azar悠着点踢,毕竟立时便是Real Madrid Club de Fútbol的人了…(萨拉赫s telling hazard to take it easy since he's going to Madrid anyway.State of Qatar

VictorAkwaowo1:Azar,笔者来帮您整理行李吧!(I’ll pack your bags for you Hazard.卡塔尔

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lycan_the_dog:一想到Azar加盟Real Madrid Club de Fútbol,就以为好怕怕…(I'm getting scared by the prospect of Hazard joining Madrid.卡塔尔

Holy_Wut_Plane:假使用你们的10号球员来换,那我们就把Azar让给你们,如何?(We can take that number 10 guy of yours and we'll give you Hazard.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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WakeUpKevinMiller:Chelsea球员咋在全场时期又热身了一次?(why Chelsea's XI are warming up again during halftime.State of Qatar

Byzantiums:终归上全场平昔都猫在团结禁区里,有一点点冻咳嗽了…(All the standing around in the box had them cold in the first half.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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EdenFuckingHazard:好呢,起码自身还应该有《王座游戏》能够看...(Well, at least there's Game of Thrones.State of Qatar

diata22:《王座游戏》还不是均等会让您心碎?(That's definitely gonna break your heart as well.卡塔尔国

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Djent_Reznor1:多希望我是壹在那之中立看球的客官,那样板人就会洋洋自得赏识这场竞赛了…(I wish I were a neutral so I could enjoy this fucking game.卡塔尔

Kardinale:握日啊,曼联俱乐部还得努大败制Manchester City F.C.帮新山争冠?(United is gonna beat City and hand Liverpool the title, fucks sake.卡塔尔

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NSFW_PICS_GIRL:科瓦契奇离开Real Madrid Club de Fútbol,只因不愿生活在MaudRichie的阴影之中,没悟出在Chelsea又被Barkley的黑影罩住了…(Kovacic left Madrid to be out of Modric’s shadow and ended up under Barkley’s shadow.卡塔尔

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互交白卷,皇家马德里俱乐部0-0马竞俱乐部

pdvu21(皇家马德里足球俱乐部观球的观众State of Qatar:C Ronaldo那赛季的La Liga进球数,比和本人交欢过的阿妹正巧多了1个。(Ronaldohas scored 1 more league goals this season than women I have slept with.卡塔尔国

Cocoa(皇马俱乐部观球的观众卡塔尔(قطر‎:在明年那句话相对是光彩夺目,而明天本身就只好同情你了…(What you said may make me jealous before this year, but now I’m sorry about that.卡塔尔

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(图):到底哪一张是原图...

ElViejoHG(皇家马德里俱乐部观球的观众卡塔尔(قطر‎:科雷亚努力地去射门,结果手淫了;后来又想把球踢出边线,结果却适逢其会踢到本泽马脸上去了…(科雷亚tries to score and sends the ball meters wide, tries to send it out and hits benzema in the face.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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波霸点射Luke-肖首球,曼彻斯特联俱乐部2-1莱斯特城足球俱乐部

Dann610:自个儿大波霸依然维持着世界杯的图景!(It's like Pogba never left the World Cup.卡塔尔

Sovereign:不问可以知道德赫亚也是吧!(So did De Gea.卡塔尔

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CandidEnigma:波霸这一点球就如当年的扎扎同样,那步伐都让自个儿希望他也踢飞了…(It was like that Zaza pen, I was really hoping he'd miss it with that run up...State of Qatar

WheresThePhonebooth:Luke-肖和波霸都进球了?小编看英格兰报刊文章那七日的头条都得重写了!(Both Shaw and Pogba scoring?! The English press just lost a week's worth of stories they had written up.)

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Aroelen:这场竞赛,竟然能出赛季最蛋疼进球的多少个绝佳候选…(One match in and we already have 2 solid candidates for dumbest goal of the season.State of Qatar

someone447:身为多少个也行…(Three solid candidates.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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Cudder9167:进球后都没亲吻队徽,波霸退出队伍容貌看来是铁钉铁铆了!(Didn’t kiss the badge after that, Pogba’s leaving confiremed.卡塔尔国

Idunlikeu:再便是进球后也没去拥抱Bell!(Didn't hug Bale, either.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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ugallu:Luke-肖是怎能进这种球的…(How’s Luke Shaw done that lol.卡塔尔

panda52501:别问了,因为她也不知道…(Don't ask him cuz he doesn't know either.卡塔尔国

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panda5250:Luke-一不悉心就成了博格Camp-肖(Luke “Accidental Bergkamp” Shaw.State of Qatar

Crows-quill:Luke-肖的第一脚触球实在太臭,竟然把对方后卫给吸引住了...(First touch was so bad the defender got confused.State of Qatar

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unusual_flats:能够说Luke-肖正是发福版的Messi了!(Literally a fat Messi.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Demonictoaster:好好干啊Luke-肖,因为我们夏日未能买个后卫来替掉你…(Come on Shaw, we didn't get a fullback this summer to replace you…卡塔尔

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Epjk:Mata和Damian在同一边,显得对面包车型大巴奇尔维尔好似博尔特同样了…(Mataand Darmian on the same side making Chilwell look like Usain Bolt.卡塔尔(قطر‎ffs_fml:曼联俱乐部的游乐手柄,预计在90分钟后就断掉了呢!(United's controller turned off for a bit after 90.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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shastmak4:曼彻斯特联那竞赛踢得,就如在欧洲亚军联赛里努力守住1-0超过Real Madrid Club de Fútbol的比分扳平…(United playing they are trying to advance in the champions league with a 1-0 against Real Madrid.卡塔尔

secondworsthuman:穆帅不过为数十分的少的赢了竞技却能令你感到对方踢得越来越好的主将…(Mourinhois one of the few coaches that can win while making the other team look more excellent.卡塔尔国

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Sterling梅开,曼彻斯特城足球俱乐部3-1 Crystal Palace F.C.

Clashoftherats:只要De Braune整个赛季都没伤病,Manchester City F.C.联赛可能又能得100分了!(If De Bruyne was fit the whole season, City would’ve probably finished on 100 again.卡塔尔(قطر‎

SwitzerlandNotInEU:嗳,可怜的曼城俱乐部,这一个赛季也就只好得98分了...(Poor City will have to finish on 98 instead :(

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Kolarovmcfc:看得本人裤子都湿了…(My pants are wet.State of Qatar

TortoiseT:当传球比进球更值得打一发飞机时,你就掌握那自然是丁丁的助攻!(You know it's a KdB assist when wank more over the assist than the actual goal.卡塔尔国

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Guevarra25:自家坚信De Braune眼里的社会风气都以慢动作!(Im convinced De Bruyne sees things in slow motion.卡塔尔国

Whatisthescen:嘿嘿,瓜瓜和Arteta的侧入式是本人最新中意的庆祝动作!(Haha Pep spooning Arteta is my new favourite celebration.卡塔尔

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TheConundrum98:还能够不可能看叁遍水晶宫俱乐部在开场前5分钟不失球的比赛了?(Can we see Palace not conceding in the first 5 minutes please?State of Qatar

lonewarrior1104:Mendi的传中是要穿过宇宙去找钢铁侠了呢!(Mendy sending that cross to Tony 斯Tucker across the universe.State of Qatar

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苦战北London,阿森纳俱乐部2-0热刺俱乐部

Archaeologik(托Turner姆热刺观球的观众卡塔尔:作者们那是在下一步大棋,时有时的就得XJBT三回,好让皇家马德里巴萨对大家的球员失去兴趣才行…(We are playing 4D chess. Every now and then we have to put in one of these performances so that Real and Barcelona lose interest.State of Qatar

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yung_scott(未知球队球迷卡塔尔(قطر‎:托Turner姆热刺足球俱乐部看球的粉丝大可哭哭戚戚抱怨俩球是越位,但你们的表现确实不如阿森纳足球俱乐部啊!(You spurs fans can cry and moan all about those two goals being offside but your team just didn't show up today.卡塔尔(قطر‎

Thunder23(阿森纳足球俱乐部观球的观众卡塔尔国:那不是自个儿上周曼彻斯特城俱乐部说我们的么…(It sounfs like what city fans said to us last week.卡塔尔国

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Heroicxpharaoh(皇家马德里足球俱乐部观球的观众State of Qatar:自个儿的家狗7年前去世了,将来自家把它再从坟墓里找回来,它也会化为三个比Mike-Dean越来越好的裁定。(My dog died 7 years ago, I could bring him back from the grave and he'd be a better ref than 迈克 fucking Dean.State of Qatar

Eurighot(Arsenal Football Club看球的粉丝State of Qatar:Sanchez进球后的跳水庆祝,迈克-Dean竟然没判他假摔?(WTF, Dean didn’t even give Sanchez a yellow foe diving after scoring.卡塔尔(قطر‎

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drizzt001(爱尔兰观球的观众卡塔尔(قطر‎:两队观球的观众都会感到迈克-迪恩是对方派来的窥伺者吧…(Supporters of both teams claiming 迈克 Dean supports the other side.State of Qatar

REDxSAM(Arsenal Football Club看球的观众State of Qatar:大伙儿都去关怀Lakazette的转变了,殊不知我们二〇一两年的特等签订左券其实是评判啊!(People were so focused on us signing Lacazette they didn't notice our star signing the assist Referee.卡塔尔

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rompskee(Arsenal Football Club球迷卡塔尔(قطر‎:为扎卡点赞!德比战得了黄牌1个钟头以至都没罚下…(Shout out to Xhaka for going an hour with a yellow in a derby and not getting sent off.State of Qatar

chammyman(热刺俱乐部看球的粉丝State of Qatar:在过去89回客场踢Arsenal Football Club、Manchester United、波兹南和Chelsea的交锋,Tottenham Hotspur Football Club总共才赢了4次…(Spurs have won 4 of their last 86 games away to Arsenal, Manchester United, Liverpool and Chelsea.卡塔尔国

澳门新京葡网上娱乐 45

Raptors2013(国际莫斯科俱乐部看球的观众State of Qatar:如若说阿森纳足球俱乐部和热刺还恐怕有有个别共鸣的话,那正是迈克-Dean正是一坨翔吧…(If there is one thing Arsenal and Tottenham fans can agree on, its that 迈克 Dean is a cunt.State of Qatar

Giggitygigg(阿森纳足球俱乐部观球的观众卡塔尔国:唯独前日不是…(But not today.卡塔尔(قطر‎

澳门新京葡网上娱乐 46

编辑:体育福利 本文来源:足球世界的冰与火之歌,一周足球搞笑段子手

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